It’s Not You… It’s Me…

Yes, first post in 6 weeks – I didn’t actually realise just how long it’s been until today. I wish I could say I had a great excuse for not writing but I really don’t. I just haven’t had the inclination to write

But since it’s now December I thought I would do a recap of sorts.

I’m going to preface this all by saying that apart from my friend passing away in June, this year has actually been pretty good – I’ve been to England twice plus had trip to Edinburgh (even if I did spend like 90% of my time in the hotel due to having a horrid cold); Sydney (even if I did spend one day in the movie theatre watching Thor (twice) because it was too damn hot to do anything else); day trip to Wellington (even if I did feel disappointed with myself and not have as good a time as I had hoped); and of course home to Christchurch for my mum’s birthday (which was actually pretty awesome).

Unfortunately my year has been taken up with the fact that my friend got very sick, very quickly and then passed away. I still haven’t really come to terms with it all. I mean how do you even begin? Also next year is the 10th anniversary of my dad passing away, which seem a lot more raw at the moment than I thought they would – again probably a remnant of dealing with my friend’s death.

I know I should be doing a recap of my latest trip to London – if you have been following me on Instagram, I have been sharing posts there. (Link to my page is here). To be completely honest here, my latest trip was a bit ‘meh‘ overall.

See – even London couldn’t bring me out of this funk I have found myself in lately..

I am hoping that 2018 will be somewhat better than this year – although like I said, other than a couple of major things it has been a pretty ok year but I am hoping that in 2018 that will see me having dealt with a lot of the things that held me back this year – which isn’t just about learning to live with my friend’s death but there has been other things going on. I won’t say depression because I have never actually been diagnosed with depression but I have had a lot of dark days each year and this year has been no exception.

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I am hoping that 2018 will provide the light that I need and I already have some travel plans next year including going back to Melbourne after a couple years and sharing my sisters first trip there. I will be heading back to Sydney in April for the Harry Styles concert (and no I really don’t care if you judge me on that!). I also am heading home to Christchurch in September for my annual ‘mum’s birthday’ trip – I was thinking of heading elsewhere in the South Island but I actually think I will be staying in Chch because they have a whole heap of new and exciting things happening all the time.

I still haven’t decided on what I am doing in November next year – I think that will be a surprise to me as much as anyone else.

Well I will leave this post with a photo of me from my recent trip to London. I really struggled on this trip – not only because of my usual health issues but also because for some reason, I really found this trip extremely lonely. I normally have no problem travelling solo but this trip just seemed different – maybe because I did get a very bad cold in my 2nd week (which I am still struggling to get rid off 3 weeks after my return).. anyway, here is a rare selfie in which I am actually smiling.

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Honestly not sure when you will see me again. I am struggling to write anything let alone regular blog posts. I just don’t feel like I have anything to say right now.

So until I see you again.. take care xo


7 thoughts on “It’s Not You… It’s Me…

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