The Reality Of It Is…

It’s taken me a long time to write this post – nearly 3 months, but it’s taken that long to come up with the right words. 

As some of you may know, I was really excited in the lead up to my last trip in August/September to the UK & Europe. Even with all the planning, changes and re planning, the anticipation was building. However reality is a whole different thing.

It rained about 98% of the time, I got depressed in Europe and I came back to Australia actually hating anything to do with travel – so much so that I cancelled my birthday trip to Wellington and would have cancelled a trip to Melbourne as well if I hadn’t been going to a Robbie Williams concert.

I remember after a particularly bad day just sitting in my hotel room in Cologne crying, wishing I had the money to change my flights and fly back to Australia early. I just wasn’t enjoying the trip.

Don’t get me wrong – there were some good times:

  • actually finally seeing the Edinburgh Tattoo
  • getting an actual tattoo in London by a very cool tattooist
  • didn’t know it at the time but driving myself over Tower Bridge, past Trafalgar Sq, up The Mall & past Buckingham Palace
  • visiting the very gorgeous Castle Combe
  • my entire time in Hamburg (as short as it was)
  • catching up with my niece & a friend in London (which is always good!)
  • seeing Nyhavn in Copenhagen

Unfortunately for me, however, the bad far outweighed the good and I came back disillusioned with the whole concept of travel. So much so that my boss was kind of disbelieving that I only wanted 10 days leave next year and had to force me to take another 5 days and this was just to go home to Christchurch – no other travel is in the planning!

Even the idea of planning a trip has lost it’s appeal to me (something I never thought I’d say!). I mean I want to travel but I just don’t have the desire to travel anymore.

One of the worst things that could have happened to me did happened – I fell out of love with travel.

I don’t know if I tried to do too much in too short a time. I don’t know if it was coz I am so unfit and have a bad knee so getting around can be quite cumbersome. I don’t know if it was because in Europe I was on my own the whole time and didn’t have anyone to share the experience with.

I honestly don’t know.

I hope this isn’t the end for me though. I hope that at some point I’ll get excited about travel again. Maybe I just need to have my feet on the ground for a while and not worry about finding a cheap fare somewhere or stress about getting good, reasonably priced accommodation in the world’s most expensive cities.

Maybe I need to go back to the beginning and find out why I fell in love with travel in the first place.  I just mentioned this to a friend and she said something that kind of made sense; maybe I fell in love with a place rather than with travel. To be honest though, even London didn’t pull me out of the stupor that I was starting to find myself in on this trip.

I don’t really know where to go from here but I do know that other than going home to Christchurch, there is no travel in my foreseeable future. I do hope that changes, so I guess…

… watch this space!

Oh and if you do want to check out my photos from the trip you can do so at my FB page: kiwiontheloose or on Instagram: kiwiontheloose



  1. Sorry to hear this Sarah but I also understand.
    Firstly, the weather makes a big difference. Everything is much more beautiful when the sun is out…but when it’s grey its very unmotivating. We’ve been travelling around Germany and in Prague the last few months and there were some days where we just didn’t want to leave the apartment because of the weather.
    But there’s more than that. We’re full-time SLOW travellers, we balance work with travel as we get around. We couldn’t be those travellers who spend a week here and a week there, seeing all the sights. That’s a recipe for burnout. Too much of anything is no fun, and again, combined with icky weather very uninspiring.
    Hope you get to shake it off! 🙂
    Frank (bbqboy)


    • Thanks BBQboy! I think I came out of my slump.. something to do with going back to London at Christmas haha. I think it was a combination of things but I haven’t let it stop me and now look at it as experience.

      Today’s motto is ‘onwards & upwards’ 🙂


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