It’s taken me a long time to write this post – nearly 3 months, but it’s taken that long to come up with the right words.
As some of you may know, I was really excited in the lead up to my last trip in August/September to the UK & Europe. Even with all the planning, changes and re planning, the anticipation was building. However reality is a whole different thing.
It rained about 98% of the time, I got depressed in Europe and I came back to Australia actually hating anything to do with travel – so much so that I cancelled my birthday trip to Wellington and would have cancelled a trip to Melbourne as well if I hadn’t been going to a Robbie Williams concert.
I remember after a particularly bad day just sitting in my hotel room in Cologne crying, wishing I had the money to change my flights and fly back to Australia early. I just wasn’t enjoying the trip.
Don’t get me wrong – there were some good times:
- actually finally seeing the Edinburgh Tattoo
- getting an actual tattoo in London by a very cool tattooist
- didn’t know it at the time but driving myself over Tower Bridge, past Trafalgar Sq, up The Mall & past Buckingham Palace
- visiting the very gorgeous Castle Combe
- my entire time in Hamburg (as short as it was)
- catching up with my niece & a friend in London (which is always good!)
- seeing Nyhavn in Copenhagen
Unfortunately for me, however, the bad far outweighed the good and I came back disillusioned with the whole concept of travel. So much so that my boss was kind of disbelieving that I only wanted 10 days leave next year and had to force me to take another 5 days and this was just to go home to Christchurch – no other travel is in the planning!
Even the idea of planning a trip has lost it’s appeal to me (something I never thought I’d say!). I mean I want to travel but I just don’t have the desire to travel anymore.
One of the worst things that could have happened to me did happened – I fell out of love with travel.
I don’t know if I tried to do too much in too short a time. I don’t know if it was coz I am so unfit and have a bad knee so getting around can be quite cumbersome. I don’t know if it was because in Europe I was on my own the whole time and didn’t have anyone to share the experience with.
I honestly don’t know.
I hope this isn’t the end for me though. I hope that at some point I’ll get excited about travel again. Maybe I just need to have my feet on the ground for a while and not worry about finding a cheap fare somewhere or stress about getting good, reasonably priced accommodation in the world’s most expensive cities.
Maybe I need to go back to the beginning and find out why I fell in love with travel in the first place. I just mentioned this to a friend and she said something that kind of made sense; maybe I fell in love with a place rather than with travel. To be honest though, even London didn’t pull me out of the stupor that I was starting to find myself in on this trip.
I don’t really know where to go from here but I do know that other than going home to Christchurch, there is no travel in my foreseeable future. I do hope that changes, so I guess…
… watch this space!